Hospitality is a gift. Having your kid's friends come play while the moms chat over coffee is a blessing for everyone. Regardless of how old your kids are, it is important to facilitate healthy and safe social interaction with freinds. Meeting up with friends for a playdate is a good way of accomplishing that.
Here are some tips to keep it fun, safe, and successful.
A good time block is 60 to 90 mins. This is adequate time for the adults to catch up, kids to play, and not get too tired. After that it will begin to feel excessive. 5 mins before the end, say something like "we should probably let you guys go soon", or "We have to get ready for _____" or "We have to go have lunch". This is also a good time to invite everyone to clean up a little. Tell your children to help clean up their toys. Be sure to thank your guests for coming.
Clean up. Your home does not need to look perfect. But tidy up.
Consider getting a few families together to have a holiday party or a group playdate.
Make conversation with the other Mom. Get to know her better. Offer her coffee and ask about how they spent the recent holiday or how soccer is going for their child.
Consider doing it on a weekend so dads can have fellowship too.
If your child has favorite toys that they don't want others to play with, your child should put them away in their room.
Have Things for you and your guests to do.
Consider playing a party game together. "Apples To Apples", "Telestrations" and "Uno" are some of our favorites.
Consider sharing a meal together. Invite them to bring their own lunches. Or, you can do "pot luck" style. You provide sandwiches and your friend brings the fruit.
Have toys and activities out in view and available like magna tiles, hot wheels, train set, dollhouse things and legos. They might want to move around and play with different activities.
If you have a long driveway, invite your friend to bring their scooters and roller blades.
Put the devices away. Encourage healthy playing between the children.
IF you are setting up your playroom, here is our toy "staples" list.
Be Safe
Supervise the children. Everyone should stay in the common areas. This is for safety reasons and to keep everyone included in a larger group.
Facilitate interactions when the children are playing. Encourage your child to play nicely and help with conflict resolution, redirecting if needed.
Tell your kids the rules of the playdate before your meetup. Tell them stay in common areas, be kind and play nicely, share the toys and not to take out devices etc.
Avoid drop-off playdates. We only do playdates when the mom is present, which avoids many problems. Also avoid sleep-overs. Here are a few of the reasons:
In an accompanied meetup both parents are present and available to supervise the children. They are also there to facilitate play and help with any conflict resolution between the children.
It is important for parents to get together for fellowship in real life too.
You know your child and your families boundaries. It is important for you to be present. If your child got a splinter or a tick, would they know or feel comfortable asking for help from the parent in charge? If the other parent put on a movie for the kids, would they pick something age appropriate? Would they give your child a snack unaware or careless about your child's allergy to an ingredient? If their child bullies your child, would the parent correct the behavior?
Sleep-overs present many dangers. You have no idea of who will be in someone's household or what children may do during the night, especially when there are multiple children.
Tips If You are a Guest
Be on time. Your host is giving you a gift by inviting you over and sharing their toys, coffee and time with you.
Supervise your child. Encourage them to play nicely and safely with the other children.
Offer to clean up at the end.
Know when to leave. At the 60/90 minute mark, you might consider ending your time together.
Do not bring toys into their house unless it is appropriate. It is fine to bring a game to share, but do not allow your child to bring their doll or toy car that could get lost or forgotten.
Thank them for having you over.
Reciprocate. Invite them over to your place sometime soon.
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